My excitement was gushing. It was a road trip different than the others. Not that of tourism but rather of business. Along the way, my glimpse of Appalachia included some terrifying overpasses some of which me and a 1000 foot cliff was separated with nothing more than a what looked flimsy metal guardrail in between. I'm not afraid of heights but in the days ahead, there was already reason for anxiety.
Some of the more calming scenes included country mountain homes, some of which were even log cabins nestled among the hills and cliffs. In my imagination I could hear fiddles and the dulcimers that went along with the scene.
It all began on a Friday afternoon after I made a very important decision. The feeling was so familiar after I opened the case which had not been opened for years. I opened this case on a regular basis some 30 years prior. The $1200 contents of this case would pay for itself over and over. Then life, as it always does, transitioned.
I convinced myself at this time that "I could always pick it back up again." On February 17th 2017, I made that decision. This decision led to daily practice, a detailed repair and eventually joining a symphony. This past year has been an amazing journey so far as I am reminded of words such as Shostakovitch, sotto voce, obligado, and rubato. I know it will be an adventure, and, yes, a road trip!
After a rugged voyage of high altitude and numerous mountain passes, the terrain began to plateau. The mountain setting gradually transformed into miles of green pastures and thoroughbred horse farms. Horses grazed in their stables in the distance over the the many acres with sprawling mansions-a very beautiful place.
I found out about the audition sometime last December. Since then, on a daily basis, I had been working on 14 orchestral excerpts by Bach, Brahms, Tchaikovsky, Mahler and many others. Some for high range, others were low- both technical and lyrical. I didn't care if I won or not. I just knew that it was an experience itself that had to happen. Regardless, 24 hours from now, I would know something.
Our hotel was just off the interstate and I was lulled to sleep by the passing semi trucks
and would awake to the same again early the next morning. The feeling I woke up with was indescribable. I was excited, I was prepared, now all I had to do was show up.
My first ever attempt to try out UBER was a fail and incidentally I would then be out $40 for a 20 minute cab ride to the church where the auditions was hosted. It was about 8:30am and I had about 30 minutes to warm up. It was my first professional audition and I was surrounded by professional musicians. Though they were friendly to one another, it was still a competition. It wasn't quite the same when I practice at home. Do you remember above when I mentioned the name Shostakovitch? Yes, Shostakovitch. Symphony no. 5, first movement three measures before measure 17 to 1 measure after 21. I know you have no clue what I am talking about but put in more simple terms, it is very low and very loud and on every audition list. I would soon learn what it's like to play this excerpt early on a rainy morning with no practice time prior as I was staying in a hotel (since my return to playing this instrument is recent, I'm sure that there are probably ways to work around this. Aside from practicing in the car on a cold rainy winters night I just have not yet discovered a breakthrough).
The time came to draw numbers and we would play in order accordingly. After all auditions, selections would be made for the next round. I played what I could in my little practice room and would be sent out after my 5 minute warning. I could hear the others in their practice rooms and I know they could hear me. I really tried not to be nervous.
The Black Screen.
Back in the day when I was auditioning more frequently, things were different than they are now. We used to walk in and saw people seated before us that we could interact with directly. We would play our instruments for them and we could see their reactions and wondered exactly what it was that they were writing about as we watched them take their notes. Fast forward to the present and auditions are now conducted more anonymously and behind a screen. In this case, discrimination is not likely. Additionally a judge can have a greater sense of undistracted audio capacity if there is nothing visually for them to look at.
My five minutes came and went.
I was greeted by the moderator who was very friendly. I could hear the candidate ahead of me as I waited outside the sanctuary. She was good. Though it would be a challenge, it was something I knew I had to do and I had to be strong. The moderator escorted me into the room for the anonymous audition and though she was behind a screen and I could not see her he told me that "Sarah" was happy to answer any questions.
After the 382 mile journey and two months of preparation, this was happening.. I was now going to do what I came to do. As I walked in, it was though I was in that Dorthy moment as she approached the Great and Powerful Oz (yes, I know it's cliche, but it really is the best way to describe the moment). The room was big and the screen was ominous. The atmosphere was filled with silence. I was focused with a very high level of concentration. Before I blew my first note, I had no idea what to expect or what sound would come out but there was still enough confidence knowing that I had prepared. All I had to do was play. I played and listened as my horn resonated from the walls of the magnificent acoustics in the room....an element I knew that would work in my favor. Three of the 14 excerpts were selected for all of the candidates. The audition was about 90 seconds in which time for me stood still. The first two of three excerpts went considerably well. Shostakovitch choked.
Had I been in my younger years, I would have been in tears. Contrarily, on this day, I was very content.
At this point, there was nothing more for me to do but return to the warm up room and await the inevitable. Though the thought of just leaving came to mind, I stuck it out anyway. The other players came and went until every number had been called. After what had seemed like a very long morning, the moderator came in with his crew and had informed us that no one would be advancing to the next round. I wasn't really sure why it had come to that result but it made me feel even better. It took the edge off of any disappointment there may have been from the initial blow of actual rejection I knew I would face. I came and did what I needed to do and am now wiser. There will be a next time.
The number I chose was 7.
Date visited: February 10th, 2018
I always like to go to places to eat that you can't go to where I am from. After what I considered to be a pretty awesome day, I went and had a chili dog at the Gold Star Chili.
